Frozen Stars
by AstralUmbral
Summary: Lunara (my Warrior of light) suffers another terror-filled night, dealing with the demons that haunt her past.


The mighty city of Ishgard loomed in the distance. A foreboding guardian peeking through the snowy gloom. City on the edge of eternity. Gothic spires peircing into the heavens, the clouds forced to bow to its very will. The dark silhouette, majestic and proud as the mountains that surrounded it. The city that had rejected her, threatened her, scrutinized and berated her. The city that had fought against her at every turn.

The city she saved.

The city, she loved.

Cool crisp air, heavy with the comforting scents of winter, surrounded her. Every crunch of her feet made her spirit soar. There was something about the snows, the mountains, the feeling like she was on the edge of the world. The quiet remote wilderness, rolling mountains, and deep forests of ice capped green.

Lunara couldnt hide the smile that bloomed on her face.

Silver moonlight rained over her, dappled with stars. The radiant sphere hung like a broach in the cloak of night, bright and full. The world around her was awash in pale hues of silver starlight, the snow aglow at her feet and as far as the eye could see.

Yet there, near the fuzzy glow of a fire, a golden glint caught her gaze . So resplendent against the full moon and darkness of night. His armor danced in the light of the fire, sending the golden rays of sun over fields of blue.

"Lunara, you came. " He smiled, as glorious and unwavering as the dawn. HIs hand held out to greet her.

Her breath hitched in her chest.

"Of course Lord Commander. " quick to smile, to force her lungs to breath the chilly air. To remind herself of what would never be.

He held his hand out to her, smile only growing. "Come friend, there is no need for titles now. "

She took his hand and walked close to the fire burning bright in the brazer. Its warmth rolled over her in waves, each one a tender caress over her frozen skin. The chill was slow to leave her core, despite the quick beat of her heart.

"Fine then, Aymeric. How might I be of service this evening?"

"I want you to tell me about the stars."

"The stars?" his answer caught her off guard, her head snapped up to look at him in confusion.

"Why the odd look, Lunara? Do you think the stars below my interest?" He mused, tilting his head to the side in thought. "Perhaps it would interest you to know that word of your involvement with the Astrologian Guild has been rippling through the vault. That whille your presence with them does lend some creedance to their claims of being something of a science, it has also brought about claims of corruption. Lest I bore you with the details. " he turned to face her once more. "suffice to say, I would like to hear what you have to say. Please, " his tone softened, and his smile returned, "Tell me about the stars."

Of course. She smiled at him, managing somehow to keep that look of disapointment from her face. Of course, this was for business. She'd known that, but some part of her had hoped. As it always hoped.

"Well.. Come, let me show you. Do you see there, that row of stars, just there?" She pointed to a tight cluster of three stars that glittered brigher than their sisters in the heavens.

Warmth.

He leaned in, his breath a shield against the winter chill. His gaze followed hers, and he raised his hand to find the constellation. "There?"

Even through his armor she could feel the warmth of him against her back. The world around her began to haze, the starry night blurred. Twinkling stars became shafts of light. She closed her eyes and breathed a reply.

"Yes."

The world shifted.

Gold surrounded her. The snow was gone, replaced by brick and stone. Rays of light from a dying sun flooded over the ramparts of the vault. The scent of blood was heavy in the air, her robes torn.

Cold unfeeling stone rose up to meet her as she fell to her knees. Confusion rippling through her. Her body ached, her breath was haggard. It felt as if every ounce of aether had been ripped from her. Sheer will was the only thing keeping her upright, and the sight of the red river flowing down the stones in front of her. The Elezen male, grasping firmly at the small hand of her companion.

"No."

She shook her head, not again, she didnt want to relive this again.

"No!"

She shouted now, as his hand fell slack, as Erika began to scream. Erika's orange eyes burned in fury, pleading with her to heal him, to heal their friend. She had nothing to give. It was all gone. Lunara could only kneel there, sobbing. "Im sorry, im so sorry"

No matter how hard she tried, nothing came to her aid. Not even a flicker of her power. She couldnt change the past, she couldnt chase away the darkness that haunted her. The failures that resulted in lost lives.

"im so sorry, I cant..." The worlds spilled from her lips again and again.

Erika's eyes bore into her, with blame, with hate.

"I cant."

Defeated, she pressed her head to the stone. Loud sobs rocking her body. She screamed, primal, angry, full of fury and desperation to wake herself from this nightmare. Everything felt so real. The iron tinge to the air caused her stomach to roll. Sweat and blood, and bile.

She slammed her hand against the stone, gritting her teeth.

"Lunara, Get off your ass and heal!" Krile yelled, her tone was angry and frim.

Her eyes snapped open, the ruins of Ralgars Reach scattered all around her. The sounds of battle still raged, screams of the dying rising in chorus. Lunara's amethyst gaze found the little Lalafel next to the prone body of Y'shtola.

"HEAL!"

She held out her hands, but nothing flowed. Her book snapped open, and she scanned every page, the shapes and letters looking foreign to her. The patterns didnt make any sense in her mind, and whatever flicker of power she possessed faded from her entirely.

She was empty.

All around her, more people fell. Meffrid, swiftly disemboweled, did not even have the chance to scream before his lifes blood splattered the stones. Alphinaud collapsed, blood blooming through his jacket, gun fire and falling mortar rounds sending dirt and debris flying into the air around them.

Her lungs burned, a smokey haze filling her vision.

Everything burned.

It was happening quicker now, the faces of the fallen flashing through her mind. So many nameless people she had watched die, so many friends.

So many she had been unable to save.

She remembered the smell when she had walked in the the Waking Sands that afternoon, the stale air still smelled of the sweat of battle, and the fear. The gore that now stained the halls. The broken body of the little Slyph, and countless other friends. Faces she had seen in passing, all working for a brighter tomorrow.

For so many that tomorrow never came.

How many graves had she dug?

Had she been a little quicker, had she managed her aether more carefully. Had she just moved out of the way so they didnt take the hit for her.

Had she just moved.

The broken shield flashed into her mind, House Fortemps family crest singed and broken. The red unicorn dripping blood onto a field of fresh white snow. Before everything vanished.

Bright and blinding light replaced by green. Earthy tones greeted her nose, and her lungs refused to breath. The smells of home, so sweet, so foreign. She wanted to run. Be anywhere but here.

"Father told you not to come out here!" The voice was angry, rightfully so.

"I didnt think.." she mumbled.

"YOU NEVER THINK."

"Come on boy, That's no way to talk to your sister." The bandit sneered, she could feel his hand tighten around her stench of him rotting in her nostrils.

"Lunara it's alright. I'll get you out of here." Ravi stare bore into her, blame, anger, and also love. He was furious, but he was here to save her. Her knight. The shining sun, bright as a summer day.

"Ravi, No! LEAVE!" She pleaded, struggling against the man who held her. Panic gripped her. Throat raw from screaming, her voice broke and hot tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Not again. Please.

Several other figures sneared under the gloom of the canopy. The bands of sunlight refusing to touch them. "listen to her boy, she knows its better to come with us." they taunted.

One of the shadows struck. Her brother avoided the blow, nimbly ducking to the side as steel slid between the gap.

"Unless you really want a fight."

She kept her eyes closed for as long as she could, her loud sobs could do nothing to drowned out the sounds. Her eyes had watched this fight happen so often, so many times. over and over, it was always the same. Even with her eyes closed she could feel every action, every blow. Steel clanged against iron, but soon enough only found soft flesh. Again and again it stabbed, sliding, slicing.

Wind rushed past her, and searing pain raced along her nose. The pain from her scar was fresh and new. Warm blood oozed down her face in a sheet, staining her tunic in crimson.

Her eyes opened, and she stared at the ground. Unable to raise her gaze. Unable to see beyod the sea of filthy sanquine, clotted with gore.

Laughter, and a wet gasp.

Her brother clawed and clutched at his throat. Legs kicking at the soft soil as he tried to cling to life. Tried to hold on. His pale violet eyes found hers, his brow furrowed and with a final sigh he was gone.

She screamed.

Darkness.

Unfeeling, unrelenting darkness, She struggled and squirmed against the hands that held her. Whatever force bound her. Suddenly it relaxed, vanished as if made of smoke. Her eyes snapped open, and her lungs screamed for breath.

Cold sweat drenched her, and the sheets that tangled around her. Matted hair clung to her skin as she wiped the sweat from her brow. Panting for every stolen breath, she dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands. Feeling the bite and sting of them against her palms.

"This is real. This is real. This is real."

She chanted the words as if they where a mantra, her words little louder than a hiss. Convincing herself that this was reality, that this was the true waking world.

Her scar still burned.

She brought a shaky hand up to run over the raised skin, half expecting to find it wet with blood. The skin was clammy to the touch, but she was whole and hale.

Lunara sat up, and regretted it as soon as she moved. Her stomach turned to water, flashes of the past running through her mind. Scents,and sensations slamming into her. Leaping up, she unraveled the mess of sheets, and through some grace of the fury made it to the washroom.

She wretched until her guts were empty, and then she wretched some more.

Sick, spent. Pale and cold. She washed. She scrubbed the memories of dirt and blood from her skin. Phantom memories that would never let the stain fade. When her skin was flushed and pink from scrubbing she finally relented.

Sleep was far from her mind, better the waking world that the dreamscapes and nightmares of her past. What could have been, what would have been, and what had already come to pass. Every night it seemed to replay in her dreams.

Some nights, she was met with only blissful darkness, and those nights she cherished.

The night welcomed her, still hours before the twilight of dawn would grace the sky. The Miqo'te quietly made her way down silent streets. The boardwalk streets of Kugane creaking under her feet, and the salty sea air greeting her like an old friend. The balmy air did little to warm her, the chill seeming to radiate from her very essence.

But once her eyes found the stars she let out a slow sigh.

The only constant she could depend on, even a world away. Here they were, her sparkling friends shined down over her, comforting starlight glittering over the rolling waves. Stoic, watchful, they kept the passage of time. She would leave this world, and no one would remember her name, the way she laughed, or the look in her eye, long before their light would fade from view.

Her eyes caught sight of three bright diamonds, brighter than the others on the eastern sky. She placed her hand up to the stars, index finger skimming the bottom rim of starlight. A sad smile pulled a the corners of her mouth.

"Just there."


End file.
